The Ugly Duckling

Daniella nervously stepped back to take a better look at herself in her full-length mirror. She had chosen to wear a black knee-length dress and her favourite high-heeled black shoes that allowed the tiniest bit of her red toenail polish to peek through the open bit at the front. It was the customary Valentine's Day colour, after all. She leaned forward again and looked closely at the face staring back at her. Her face was fuller than it had been in years and her once defined cheekbone structure was barely visible. Her brown, almond-shaped eyes were framed by dark, angular eyebrows. Daniella didn't understand what Jason saw in her, but he must have thought she was mildly attractive if he asked her out on this particular day. She took a deep breath and dabbed some lip-gloss onto her lips. This date was a big deal for her.
 
At twenty three, Daniella had not dated many men. She had always been made to feel as though she was unattractive to them. Of course they had never told her this directly. No, that would be cruel. But growing up, her best friend, Andrea, had helped her understand this - that she just wasn't pretty enough and that unfortunately, the boys just didn't like her. Daniella could recall many times as a young teenager when she would be walking home with Andrea, and Andrea would try and coach her to help her with this problem. "You have to change the way you look. You're always frowning. It makes you look really ugly," she would say. "And change the way you walk. It's weird. You always look so stiff." On some days, she would try and get Daniella to work out with her, pushing her to do as many sit-ups as she could. "If you stay fat, the boys will never look at you. You need to work out every day of the week. I think that until you can lose the weight, you should wear long tops to cover your behind." Daniella continued to listen to Andrea's words of advice, working hard to lose fat that she could not see but had been told was there, desperately wanting to be attractive.
 
A couple of years into high school, Daniella moved away to another school and eventually lost touch with Andrea. As the years progressed, she continued to struggle with her body image, always hearing Andrea's words in her head. The situations Daniella would find herself in seemed to reaffirm what Andrea had told her all along. Daniella would meet men and develop a liking for them, but the attraction was never mutual.
 
One day, while Daniella was in her second year of college, she had received a phone call from Andrea's close friend, Terry. Andrea had taken seriously ill and been admitted in a hospital two hours away. As Daniella sat in the bus en route to the town where Andrea had been hospitalized, she recalled how Terry and Andrea would discuss her as they walked in front of her on the way to school as teenagers. Terry would say something like, "What's up with her? She's so strange. Why is she always so serious? And what is up with her tagging along behind us like that?" To which Andrea would respond, "I don't know what to do with her. Just look at how she walks, rigidly clutching on to her book bag like she's in the military or something!" And then they would howl with laughter as the tears would well up in Daniella's eyes.
 
When Daniella had gotten to the hospital, Andrea had seemed overjoyed to see her and had hugged her ever so tightly. Daniella had felt remorseful about the grudge she had held for seven years and had genuinely wished her friend a speedy recovery. Terry had also seemed much nicer than Daniella remembered but just as Daniella had begun to feel at ease, something had happened that made her feel like the awkward thirteen-year old again. Terry was trying to get Andrea to guess who she had met on the bus earlier that morning. "Come on, Andrea - take a guess! She was on the bus with her younger sister. You were in her Engineering class.?" Andrea had continued to look at Terry blankly. "Okay, I know you'll figure it out now - who is the ugliest, pudgiest girl we both know?!" It was at that point that Andrea had exclaimed, "Daniella!!!" and had burst out laughing.

 
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Daniella snapped back to reality when her cell phone started to ring. She held her breath as she reached for the phone, praying that it wasn't Jason calling to cancel their date.  The name 'Zara' flashed on the caller ID display. Zara was a girl who had moved in next door to Daniella, whom she had become close friends with. Daniella answered the call and heard Zara's voice on the other end of the line. "Hey Dannie! Why don't we go catch a movie or something? I can't be home on Valentine's - it's too depressing." "Er… I have plans tonight, Zara - I'm going out for dinner with Jason," Daniella replied. Zara sounded completely surprised, as though she didn't believe it. "You mean on a date?" she asked incredulously. "Yeah, I know. Even I'm having trouble believing it," Daniella responded as her stomach fluttered. As Daniella hung up the phone, she thought to herself how strange it was that she had plans on this day when Zara didn't have a date. Zara was a beautiful girl who accustomed to having men flock around her.

 
Daniella took one last glance at herself in the mirror before she settled down in the living room with a magazine to wait for her date to pick her up. About ten minutes later, the doorbell rang. Daniella took a deep breath, adjusted her dress for the umpteenth time, and opened the door. To her complete surprise, it wasn't Jason who stood at the door, but Zara. "Oh, I'm so glad I caught you before you left the house," Zara said as she pushed past Daniella and made her way into the house. "I have absolutely nothing to watch and I was hoping to borrow a movie from you." Daniella glanced nervously at her watch, thinking that Jason would be arriving shortly and she really did not want them to be late for their dinner. But Zara was already flipping though the booklets that held the movie disks. As Zara sat cross-legged on the plush rug, Daniella couldn't help but notice how effortlessly pretty she was. She was dressed casually in a pair of shorts and a tank top, wearing just a hint of eye makeup that made her hazel eyes pop.

 
The doorbell rang again. As Daniella opened the door to let Jason in, Zara jumped up and walked over to say hello to Jason. Zara had never been too fond of Jason so it surprised Daniella when Zara stood on her tiptoes and leaned in to hug Jason. It was then that Daniella realized that Zara was wearing possibly the shortest pair of shorts she owned. "Jason, you don't mind having a seat for a few minutes while I pick out some movies, do you? Maybe you can help me go through these movies," said Zara. Jason barely looked at Daniella as he settled down into a comfy armchair, holding the movie booklet in his hand. Daniella watched helplessly as she saw him grin at Zara as he seemed to completely forget that Daniella was even in the room. She then watched in utter dismay as the vivacious Zara settled down on the arm of the chair, swung one perfectly toned long leg along the length of the arm as she flicked her hair back and flashed a dazzling smile at Jason who said, "Maybe we should just stay here and all watch a movie together"...

The Boys

Adrianna hated it when they referred to her as ‘one of the boys’. She may have taken pride in it when she was younger, but now it irked her that they didn’t recognize that she was a woman and needed to be handled more delicately. They were there to be insensitive when things were rough for her, and they were there to make fun of her when things were good. But they were always there. And in spite of their annoying behavior when it concerned Adrianna, she loved them unconditionally. When she spent time with them individually, their bullying facades dissolved and their rather lovable personalities shone through. They were her boys, her friends, her family.

Earlier that week, Adrianna had stopped by the bank after work to see Darren. Darren was probably the most gentlemanly of the boys. He was thoughtful and considerate and the girls adored him. He had bought Adrianna her first bouquet of flowers on her fifteenth birthday even though he caught flak for it from the rest of the boys later. That day, Darren had looked particularly sharp in his pin-striped suit and pink shirt. He always dressed really well, even when he wasn’t working at the bank. He had been in a particularly great mood that day and had managed to convince Adrianna to join him for dinner at a nearby bar and grill. They had talked for hours over dinner about many things and by the time Adrianna had gotten home, it was past ten o’clock.

On this day, there had been whispers about riots breaking out in the city centre so Adrianna had headed home early. She had contemplated swinging by the bank again to see Darren who had promised to give her a book she had been wanting, but decided against it as she was exhausted from working late two nights in a row.

Adrianna threw her car keys on the mantelpiece and collapsed onto the couch. “Just a little TV before I get something to eat,” she thought as she pointed the remote control at the television and swung her legs up onto the couch. Before long, she had fallen asleep, curled up on the sofa.

She woke up with a start to the sound of her cell phone ringing. She reached out and grabbed it from the coffee table to look at the flashing caller ID on its display. It was Mike. Adrianna groaned and turned the phone ringer on silent. Tonight was movie night and the boys were probably calling to ask if she wanted to join them. She closed her eyes yet again, but just as she was drifting off, her cell phone rang again. “Damn you, Mike,” she muttered angrily as she pressed the ‘accept’ button on the phone. “Hello,” she said in an irritable voice expecting Mike to chide her for not answering the phone before. “Adie?” Mike didn’t sound like his normal self. “What is it, Mike?” Adrianna asked, sitting up, rubbing her eyes. Mike replied in a soft, calm voice, “I don’t want you to freak out, okay? I need you to stay calm but I need you to get to the hospital. Darren’s been shot.” “WHAT!? What happened?” Adrianna yelled. “I’ll tell you when you get here, just come to the hospital.” Mike answered.

Adrianna hung up the phone, grabbed her car keys, slipped on her shoes and bolted out of the house. A million questions were running through her head. Had thugs attacked the bank while Darren was there? Had the doctors already taken him in to surgery? Was he going to be okay? What if they weren’t going to be able to repair the damage from the gunshot wound and he was somehow disabled for the rest of his life?

Adrianna’s cell phone began to ring again. It was Denise. Why was she calling? Adrianna didn’t usually hear from Denise. “Hello?” Adrianna answered as she drove like mad through the dimly lit streets towards the hospital.  “Adrianna, are you okay?” Denise asked uncertainly. “Yeah, but listen, Darren’s been shot. I’m rushing to the hospital now to see him so I can’t talk,” Adrianna answered. “Okay – call me if you need anything,” Denise said. As Adrianna hung up the phone she thought to herself how bizarre that phone call was. Denise did not seem surprised about the news. Maybe she already knew. But why would she be calling Adrianna? With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, Adrianna sensed that things were more serious than Mike had let on. She decided to call Kevin and ask him what was going on. As she deftly switched gears with her left hand, she dialed Kevin’s number with her right, leaving the steering wheel unmanned briefly. Kevin answered right away. “Kev, what’s going on? How badly is Darren hurt? Kev? You have to tell me the truth! Kevin?” Kevin remained silent for a few seconds. Then, in a quiet voice, he said, “He didn’t make it, Adie. He’s dead.”

The words echoed inside Adrianna’s head as the phone dropped from her hand and she stared blankly into the night ahead of her. Streetlamps whizzed past as she tried to assimilate the news she had just been given. And then she began to wail as the tears came streaming down her face. She was in complete disbelief. Not for a moment did she consider that she was going to the hospital to find him dead. Kevin had to be joking, right?

She turned into the hospital gate and immediately saw the shadows of people standing in the dark of the night, heads drooped. She parked the car and calmed herself down. She got out of the car and walked towards the group. She could hear silent sobs coming from a few people. “Adie!” someone called out to her. It was Jeremy. He walked towards her, crying as he put his arms around her. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry,” he whispered as Adrianna buried her face in his jacket and wept. With one arm still around Adrianna’s shoulders, Jeremy began to lead her away from the group and into the building. Adrianna didn’t realize what was happening until she looked up from Jeremy’s chest and realized that Darren’s body was lying right in front of them. There was a white sheet pulled over the top half of Darren’s body, covering his face. She gasped and began to howl as Jeremy tightened his grip on her.

As she trembled in Jeremy’s arms, Adrianna stared at the black, dress shoes that lay on the feet of the dead body in front of her, thinking that she could have seen those shoes anywhere, and known that they belonged to Darren. It was then that it hit her. She had known this man for most of her life… and now he was gone. There were other people walking into the room now. Adrianna was so glad that the body was covered up – she would not want to remember Darren in any other way than as happy as he looked the last time she saw him. It was at that moment, without any warning, a man in a white lab coat had pulled back the white sheet and Adrianna had shrieked with terror, shutting her eyes tight as the image of what she glimpsed was etched in her memory forever…

Best Friends

Sarah and I clutched our towels around our bathing suits, squealing as Danny chased us around the pool. From her sun bed, my mother lifted her head, shading her eyes from the bright sun with her book, and called out sternly to us to be careful. Sarah and I collapsed onto a sun bed, giggling while Danny pulled one of the thin cushions from another sun bed to the edge of the pool and lay down with his right hand dipped in the pool, mischievously threatening every so often to splash the cold water onto us.  

It had been a glorious three days. We had hardly spent any time inside the hotel. I was so glad that Sarah’s parents had agreed for her to come away with my family on a beach holiday. And I was secretly even happier that Danny just happened to be there with his parents too. I had had an enormous crush on him since the sixth grade and although it had been an entire year of turning bright red each time he so much as looked at me, neither he nor Sarah knew how I felt. Although she was my best friend, Sarah had a way of making me feel like most things I said or did were laughable. It was better that she didn’t know about my crush on Danny.

As the azure pool glistened in the sun’s golden rays, we took turns at jumping into the pool to see who could make the biggest splash. We would start off a distance away from the pool’s edge, running towards it and finally take the biggest leap we could, hugging our knees mid-air, just before we hit the water. Sarah managed to capture everyone’s attention (as was the case most of the time) with her immaculate underwater hand-stands. I could tell that Danny, in particular, was impressed and that this seemed to please Sarah greatly.

Before long, my mother was beckoning us to get cleaned up and changed for lunch. We promised Danny that we would meet him the following day for a game of water polo and then ran barefoot back to our hotel room. “I don’t want this holiday to end!” Sarah moaned as she stood at the balcony window, looking out onto the beach. “We still have another whole day left before we have to go back”, I replied optimistically but I too felt the sinking feeling that our holiday was coming to an end too quickly. For me, it meant fewer opportunities to see Danny, once we were back at home.

Sarah and I washed up, donned our shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops, and made our way down to the hotel’s dining room. My parents were already seated at a table, waiting for us. As we approached them, my mother looked at me and exclaimed disapprovingly, “Look at how dark your skin has gotten! Didn’t you use any sunscreen?” I looked down at my arms and legs and realized that I was really tanned. I never understood why that was a bad thing. I thought my skin looked so beautifully dark and flawless. I looked over at Sarah whose skin had a light bronze glow all over, except for her nose which was a reddish brown. She gave me a look of triumph as though to say, “I managed not to mess up like you did!”

I sulked through most of the lunch, perking up only when my father said that Sarah and I could have some money to go and get our hair braided on the beach. We hastened through our meal and excused ourselves from the table, dashing out into the sunshine again. We scampered past the pool and through the little gate that led onto the beach, whipping off our flip-flops and letting our feet sink into the powder-soft sand. The great big leaves of the palm trees swayed in the wind as the ocean drew closer with each wave. The almost-translucent crabs darted across the white sand, seemingly daring us to step on them. Some distance ahead of us, a man with a stick led a camel down the shoreline, a little boy nestled between its humps, his little legs dangling high off the sand. Beach vendors dotted the hotel’s periphery, their beautiful paintings and carvings laid out on a background of sand, and their exquisitely colourful sarongs flapping in the wind. As Sarah stopped to pick up a shell, I spotted two ladies sitting under the shade of a palm tree. A piece of cardboard stuck in the sand with the words “RASTAS DONE HERE. WELLCOM” written untidily across it told me we had found our hair-braiders. I called out to Sarah and we walked over to the women to get our hair makeovers.

Almost three hours later, we were finally done. We stood up, shaking off the pins and needles in our legs, and looked around. The tide was out and the beach had emptied out considerably. Sarah and I took a little walk along the strip of sand that had been under the tidal waves earlier that day, digging our toes into the wet sand, trying to unearth pretty little shells. Once we got closer to our hotel, we sat down on the soft sand and watched the waves breaking against the reef in the distance. I absent-mindedly picked up a handful of sand and let it pour through my fingers as I daydreamed about Danny.

A man’s voice behind us startled me back to reality. I looked over my shoulder and saw a man, wearing a cap, holding a bunch of leather bracelets and wooden key-chains in different shapes. Sarah began to engage him in conversation about the price of the key chains and so he moved in front of us and crouched down to face us. There was something about this man that unnerved me. I pretended to be disinterested in the conversation, looking out to the ocean, but from the corner of my eye, I could see that he kept turning to look at me.  I drew my knees in and hugged them. He was making me decidedly uncomfortable. Sarah, completely oblivious to my discomfort, asked me if I wanted to get a personalized key-chain. “No!” I snapped in response. I wanted the man to go away. Couldn’t she see that I was uncomfortable? As he stood up to dig into his pockets for some paper on which to write Sarah’s key-chain order, I took a good look at the man. He had protruding veins that ran over his smooth ebony skin, from his wrists, over the bulging muscles in his forearms and disappeared under the sleeves of his loose, button-up shirt. Hanging from underneath his cap, were short braids, not unlike those we had just gotten. His eyelids were droopy, as though he was sleepy and in his mouth, he chewed on what looked like the end of a twig.

He looked up at me suddenly, catching my stare and I felt a surge of panic shoot through my body. His eyes… they looked like dark beads set against a thick yellowish backdrop, taking me in, bit by bit, through their droopy eyelids. I looked away quickly. I wanted to get up and run back into the hotel compound but my body wasn’t listening. Sarah chatted away, answering the man’s questions, each of which he asked in a drawling voice, slowly averting his gaze every so often to look at me. I stared directly ahead of me at the ocean, praying that my fear was not apparent to him as I grew increasingly nervous.

He asked Sarah where we were staying and she pointed to the hotel behind us. I wanted to scream out and shake her and tell her to stop giving this stranger all this information but I could not seem to get my voice or my body to obey my mind. I began to tremble. The beach was now practically void of any people, save the man with the camel. All sorts of thoughts raced through my mind. I began to have flashbacks of an incident that occurred when I was nine years old, and a drunken man had accosted me outside a restaurant’s restroom. I shuddered as I closed my eyes and saw those eerie translucent-green bloodshot eyes boring into mine.

“You, you look like a tourist because you have a white skin,” the key-chain vending man said to Sarah, “but your friend – she look more like me.” I could feel his stare burning into me. “Me, I prefer this colour…” He reached over and slowly but deliberately stroked my thigh upwards.

That was it! My body finally kicked into defence-mode as I shoved his hand away, got to my feet and with all my might, kicked the fine sand into his eyes. I didn’t even stop to look at Sarah as I then whirled around and bolted for the hotel entrance. Just as I approached the incline to the open hotel gate, I felt my left foot hit something hard and before I knew it, I was laying face-down in the sand, my ankle resting atop a piece of driftwood. I hoisted myself back up again, and as the tears came hot and furiously down the sides of my sand-covered face, I heard the distinct sound of Sarah’s laughter behind me...